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My BFF would be 44 Thursday

Real talk. I've been dreading this week.

Thanks for all of your encouragement and prayers since I found my best friend of 37 years, classmate, maid of honor and GaBBY and Michael's godmother dead in her home from COVID January 7. Her completely unexpected death rocked us to the core, but we know it has been our faith and the support and love of family like you that has kept us.

Every March 25 or within days following, the kids and I would take Godmommy Meka to Texas Roundhouse. It was our spot. It was loud and so were we! We'd stay for hours laughing, cutting and catching up.

I thought about still going, but now I think that's overly ambitious. The thought of sitting at a booth and her not sitting across from me seems unbearable right now. My grief support group is also helping me realize I don't need to rush into anything like this. I have taken the day off from work so I can not feel pressured to do anything but cry and reflect if that's what I feel like doing Thursday.

How did you deal with your first milestones or holidays after the loss of a loved one?

Rozalynn



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  • Lydia Dantzler on

    So sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my brother in 2016. The loss really hit me hard because my mother raised the five of up to be really close and we really are. For the first year I just sort of stayed to myself and talked frequently to my Pastor. My family reassured me he was in a better place and that he would not want me to continue to grieve. After about a year and a half it did get better. Now on his birthday we celebrate the life that he lived by cooking the food that he loved to cook and telling his jokes. He was also a man that loved to help others. The remaining four of us carry out that part of his legacy daily. It’s hard and he stays on my mind. I tell people about him and the great life he lived whenever a opportunity arises. It’s gonna be hard but take your time because everyone’s grieving process is gonna be different!!! Take care. Lydia

  • Tiffini on

    I’ve suffered a lot of lost in my 46 years of life. It started in middle school when a family-friend from church was murdered by her ex-boyfriend. She was a senior in high school and had just taken her cap and gown pictures. It was a very traumatic experience for me. I still remember how that made me feel to this very day. I’ve lost all of my maternal and paternal grandparents and my mother and father are deceased as well (I lost my maternal grandmother and my mother in recent years).

    One of the best things I learned during Grief Share counseling is the phrase, “do what’s next”; that could be fixing a cup of water or showering and getting dressed…or not.

    On her birthday you and GaBBY could plan to get necklaces or bracelets with her name, favorite scripture, or song engraved in it. Watch her/your favorite movie or listen to some of her/your favorite songs/artist. Bake or purchase her/your favorite dessert or dinner.

    Grief truly is a day by day, minute by minute, second by second journey.

    Breath, then DO WHAT’S NEXT.

  • Tangy Brantley-Manor on

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you. This is a week that grief visits me as well. My Daddy passed away on 3/28/18. I’ve noticed in the past years that when this time rolls around, I have more vivid dreams about him. The dreams are so realistic and allow me to have conversations with him that we would have had if he was still living.
    I pray that you can rest your mind on fond memories. I took time off from work as well…it allows me time to think about the memories and grieve peacefully with no outside pressure.

  • Valeria Dwyer on

    When my mom died. It just seem to me that she was away in a hospital waiting to come home. I was waiting on a call to come and get her.

  • Paula N. on

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish I had answers. This week marks one year since I last saw my mom in person, last hugged her. She died of Covid in October at 66. I hadn’t seen her other than FaceTime since we went on lock down. And I didn’t get to say goodbye either. Holidays were horrendous. But it’s the quiet time when I’m driving in the car. That’s when I always talked to her. If it wasn’t for my baby girl I’m not sure I would be functional right now. Focus on your kids, it helps. Adding you to my prayers.



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